Did you miss me? I sure did miss you all but my hermitude has paid off because I FINISHED MY BOOK! I have written 75,000 words of wellness-related wit and wisdom for your consumption 😏 and, of course, due to immense feelings of pride and accomplishment, my inner critic had to go into overdrive.
What if they hate it?
That’s the recurring thought I keep having. I had it when I sent the manuscript to my publisher and when I sent it to beta readers. I have it when I think about it being available for people to buy and when I think about Amazon reviews (or a lack thereof).
What if they hate it?
I’m sure you’ve experienced the same thought. Whether you created a piece of art, a product, a service, a new nickname – whatever it was, at the point where you felt accomplished, you probably also wondered…what if they hate it?
Since this thought has decided to set up shop in my mind, I’ve had time to sit with it and interrogate it. I’m not here to tell you to ignore it or that you shouldn’t worry because whatever it is they will love it! Because the uncomfortable truth is that, whatever you create – even another human – not everyone will love it. 😬
So then the question becomes, who are the ‘they’ that you’re worried about?
There are the theys who won’t love it. Hopefully, they’ll be kind enough to either keep their thoughts to themselves or to share constructive feedback with you. This group of theys could actually help you make your next iteration even better or give you the opportunity to see your creation from another perspective.
There are the theys just who won’t get it, even if they really want to. And that’s okay! It just means that it’s not for them. And if it doesn’t click for them, it’s not by force!
There is a tiny group of theys who might say they hate it and say it with their whole chest 😩 They might troll you on the internet since that’s the only place where anyone has the confidence to truly step into the role of villain. And when I think of this group, I’m reminded of this quote (emphasis mine):
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
You might be familiar with this quote thanks to Brené Brown but, like with most well-known quotes, it was actually a dead white man who said it. But that’s by the by…my point is, let the haters hate. Plus, having haters is a sign that you’ve truly made it, right? 🥴
And finally, there are the theys who will LOVE it. These are the people that your creation is for. They need it, love it, and appreciate you for bringing it into this reality. If you allow the fear of the other theys to hold you back, these are the theys you’ll be letting down as a result. These are the theys you should focus your energy and attention on, whether there are 5 of them or 5,000 🤩
So shoutout to you – yes, YOU! You are one of the theys that give me the confidence and motivation to keep sharing, keep creating, keep going – and I appreciate each and every one of you ❤️
My book is coming out in April next year so you’ll have to be patient – but in the meantime there will be a meditation course, a retreat and more for you to get involved in…watch this space!